Friday, October 21, 2011

changes...

So i am trying to figure it out what to do with this blog..It started as an inspiration to dedicate myself to something...i had the strong interest in learning how to box and then fight in a ring...it was an interesting run but I learned that it was not what my heart really wanted to be dedicated to. Ever since I had come back from our trip to india to serve at the boys home there has been this strong desire to do something about serving there long-term. My heart kept coming back to this calling...I thought that if I could get my act together I would be able to "prove myself"...or perhaps prove to myself, that I had what it takes to follow Gods call and serve Him for His Kingdom. So, part of getting my act together was to have my health, finances, and character all straightened out. The problem was that I was working only on the outside instead of allowing God to transform me from the inside..which apparently takes a lot more time than I want to think about. needless to say my own efforts failed and after all was said and done i found myself alone praying to God without any results.
He Did reveal to me that I had it all wrong and now i am just taking one step at a time to follow Him and keep my heart available for Him to mold and shape. So things are changing, gradually I think as I look towards the real dedication God has put on my heart and that is to serve Him and to be an active part in His Kingdom work. So I am aiming to serve as a longterm missionary in India. Everyday, especially now that I am working towards starting up a ministry to fund initiatives, I ask God- am I doing the right thing I believe I am following Your call so please forgive me if I am wrong and close the door and steer me in the right direction, but everyday as I work faithfully towards the goal things seem to be changing from the inside...for the better-well, I know I am experiencing God and changing old patterns of behaviors so that has to be good. And I am doing things that I have always said I can't do. I don't know where all this will lead up to, but no matter what happens I am confident that today I am on the right track.