Monday, April 18, 2011

challengeing week

I am getting stronger...not yet fitting into any old jeans but i am getting stronger. And why does it even have to be about that anyway. Have I not gone from doing nothing physically to exercising everyday. From spending 3 bux at starbux almost every other day to making coffee at home. Funny how once I start aiming for simply bettering myself it becomes a battle of beating myself up, as though all of a suddens I am supposed to be a differet more perfect person. At the sametime it's weird because beating myself up a bit could keep me in check because just settling for better than yesterday is not where it is supposed to end.
The thing is I had an incredibly challenging week. There is something huge that can come out of it or I can just give up because it is all to hard and too scary and too exhausting and just too challenging.
One thing I am learning is that this process of transformation is exactly that, a process. In someways yes Jesus came into my heart and changed it but in others it is more requiring of me to make choices that are not so easy, to surrender to things that i usually fight and battle things that I usually give in to.

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