Keeping a blog is strange. I am not sure who is reading...if anyone at all is actually; I wonder am I writing too much, could that be misinterpreted, is there anyone even reading this???
Maybe I shouldn't blog so late when thoughts tend to ramble into one another..haha maybe I shouldn't blog at all. Then again, what does it matter if no one is reading, if no one likes what I am saying, maybe there is one person that does.... hi you! :) Funny how the mind responds to the likelyhood of an audience.
I have to keep in mind that I do this so that I can stay dedicated, through the thick and thin of it. Already thoughts of why bother creep around corners.
Like lately, it seems, the people who were near the top on my 'moral/spiritual/friend support' lists are not even ackowledging my existence. As though I've done something wrong...have I? Still others give me this vibe that they don't even seem to like me. It kinda brings this sense of reality to the picture equivelant to disillusionment, which of course momentarily lowers the drive.
It is hard. Come on admit it, it is really uncomfortable when you sense that people you look up to don't even want you around. But the best part about that is I am challenged to develop motivation independent of others, to not judge but love those who don't seem to genuinely love me, and to try to please Christ not my desire to belong or be liked- and you know what, I have a second wind...even more.
I am sitting with this passage from Galations 6
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Brothers and Sisters, if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry eachother's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If any of you think you are something when you are nothing, you decieve yourselves. Each of you should test your own actions. Then you can take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to someone else, for each of you should carry your own load. Nevertheless, those who recieve instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.
He wants us to love eachother; care for one another, but also keep ourselves in check. This is a really good model of the Godly relationships I pray to have with my brothers and sisters. God is teaching me how. It starts with love... and not running away.
I don't know why this applies though, but,
I think the big difference between Saul and David was, Saul feared and depended on men and what they said to do, David feared and depended on God and what God said to do. Anyway, i think that's for another night.
haha see late night-rambling! happy easter, Jesus really does make all things new, 'rememeber that!' :)
I have started reading your blogs. I want you to know to keep on doing it! You have inspired me and i feel that i would like to make one too. Even if no one reads it it is an account for yourself, to keep being motivated and to follow through with Christ.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing person and are so continuously growing. Even when you feel disliked or ignored, know that there are others who see what you do and who are silently applauding you, urging you to do your best.
I love you and I pray that you continue putting yourself out there and be completely obedient to God. Do not let the devil twist the blessings God has given to you, for you are deserving of all of them.
HAPPY EASTER! Your family looked wonderful today!
~ Andrea =)